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Etiquette Guidelines for Gentlemen Who Serve




Notice that we use the word “gentlemen,” we have the highest expectations that all men who desire to be a part of ClubFEM® will always be gentlemen who honor manners and protocol.

1. When meeting a Lady, keep your hands to your sides or behind your back. A nod of recognition when introduced will suffice. Should the Lady extend her hand to you, take it lightly, and bow slightly. If the hand is to be kissed, kiss your thumb that is crossed over the Lady’s hand. It is a sign of respect and no gentleman should be leaving lip or wet marks on a Lady’s hand.

2. Be aware of your body. It is a prospective toy for a Lady. Absolutely no perfume, heavy aftershave or clothing with strong detergent odors. Nails should be short and well kept, brush your teeth, use mouthwash and take a breath mint before greeting anyone! If you smell like a ho you will be asked to stand in the corner. If you are wearing a shirt that you have worn before that is covered in perfume, you will be serving notice that your idea of hygiene is not compatible with the kind of gentleman a ClubFEM® Southeast Florida Lady would entertain in any way.

3. Be prepared to bring a contribution for the ongoing upkeep of the organization when attending any CFSEFL activity. It is permissible to ask for the privilege of taking care of any Ladies’ dinner check.

4. At the table, please do offer information about yourself in an appropriate way. Telling the Ladies present what you are looking for in a Mistress is not appropriate. Telling your background, experience, and skills that you have to offer is appropriate. Be sure to turn to your right, converse, and turn to your left and converse. Remember, the Ladies of CFSEFL are interested in a gentleman who is able to transition from the vanilla world to a FLR and back to vanilla seamlessly.

5. Questions directed at any Lady should be presented correctly. ‘May I ask’ is always a good way to start a direct question.

6. Spread yourself around. Find some way to engage each Lady during the course of the evening even if it is for just one sentence. If you do not engage in conversation, then you only have yourself to blame if you do not meet anyone.

7. Do not neglect an honorific when responding in any way to a Lady. When in doubt, Ma’am is fine. As in ‘Yes, Ma’am’.

8. You will rise when a Lady leaves a table, and rise upon her return. If she is unaccompanied, the closest gentleman will tend to her chair. If there are two gentlemen, the one on her left will do the honors. In general, be a Gentleman! Remember to open all doors; a Lady should NEVER have to open a door when there is a gentleman to do it.

9. Learn how to write a proper thank you note. Write a thank you note to the Head Mistress after every Club Dinner. Write a thank you note to a Lady whose company delighted you.

10. Get used to writing proper notes in general. This means, correct salutations and closings. Abbreviations are NEVER appropriate. There will be no ‘u’ or ‘r’ or any other shortcuts of the English language used when communicating with a Mistress, ever. Not even if you are allowed the extreme privilege of texting a Lady.

11. At dinner, Gentlemen should check to make sure that the Domina sitting next to him has full water glasses and that they are happy with their dinners. If not, please call over the waiter to rectify the issues.

12. All Gentlemen should clean all play equipment before if needed, and definitely after use.

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